The past can be a nasty creature that holds on to you, squeezing you quite literally to death until you are grasping for a breath, any breath that will get air in your lungs and a grasp on reality. But why do we let the past grapple with us so? Why do we give the past life? Why do we give it so much power over us?
The past makes us replicate certain behaviors, sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad. Our mind says the past is a good barometer for what is going to happen, right? “Well, if XYZ happened in the past, it is probably going to happen again so put those walls up, put those defenses up, protect, run, hide!”
Some sort of conversation like that happens from time to time, right? But what if that conversation happens more often? What if it is a weekly or daily occurrence? What if you are caught in a cyclical cyclone of anxiety and you don’t want to be tethered to your past?
This feeling is something that I am familiar with, being tethered to my past. And I am working on untangling myself from the tentacles of yesteryear. And although it is going to be a long process, I carry with me the thought that every day is a new day. Every day is a day to start anew. We get a fresh slate when we wake up every morning.
A clean fresh slate.
I am working on not choosing yesterday.
I am working on choosing today.
Because today is what matters. The here and now. Being present and mindful is harder, it is harder than one would think. But it something that I am striving for. To be healthy and well is important to me and I don’t want to retreat into the hollowness of yesterday, of the past that wants to welcome me back into its bosom and suffocate me.
No, it is not going to happen again. Not this time. What happened is not me. What happened does not define me. What happened is the past.
And I am choosing today over what happened.
And so should we all.
Proud of you, my friend!!! “Today is the day that the Lord hath made. Rejoice, and be glad in it!”
Thank you Laurie 🙂 XO!
Well said Mackenzie! It’s hard to not let the past, which has defined us to some extent, not cloud who we can be, or become…
Thanks Tonya. It is definitely hard to change one’s mindset, but I am working on staying present and in the moment 🙂
Amen to that, Mackenzie! And the thing is, all of the todays that you choose will, sooner than you might realize, become your past. And although you will keep choosing today, the past will become a friendlier place – simply because it’s made up of days when you chose “today”. (I really hope that makes sense!)
It totally makes sense Ruth. Thank you my friend 🙂
Good for you for untethering yourself from the past, Mackenzie! It is crazy how deep our past roots inside of us. It’s something I deal with too, as do most people, so know that you are definitely not alone. Some events that I recall and dwell upon, my interpretation may be faulty, and other past events are crystal clear. I cling to them as though they are my lifeline, when in reality, they prevent me from living. I’m choosing today too because, like you, I want to live in the moment, not stuck in the past, reliving hurtful and painful moments.
I love what you said here Tanya —> “I cling to them as though they are my lifeline, when in reality, they prevent me from living”. YES!!!!! Amen, sister. I couldn’t have said it better.
I totally support the idea of not letting the thing or things that happen to you define you. They are a part of you but they don’t have to be all of you.
Exactly. I am trying to not let the past define me. Here’s to keeping my chin up!
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