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Archive for the ‘catharsis’ Category

Living The Fullest Life

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Are you living the fullest life possible?

I know I’m not. But I want to.

When I am a much older gal, sitting on my front porch with my cats drinking my umpteenth glass of lemonade, I want to be able to reflect on all the twists and turns my life took. I want to be able to smile at all the times I fully stepped out of my comfort zone and experienced something remarkable. I want to remember all the times the wind whipped through my hair and felt the sun kiss my face. I want to reminisce on sunsets setting into the ocean, cobblestones beneath my wobbly feet, sidewalks beckoning me into their quaint coffee shops.

I don’t want predictability. I want extraordinary. Extra. Ordinary.

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I want what the world has to offer. I want to walk beneath the Eiffel Tower. I want to ride the London Eye. I want to spend Christmas in a cabin in the mountains and truly wake up to a white Christmas. I want to help. I want to do. I want to truly live.

I want to someday be on my porch and smile a small smile to myself and know that my life was everything I thought it could be and more. I want to know that I focused on the promise of never-ending tomorrows and felt the grass beneath my bare feet and flowers graze my tender fingertips.

Someday I will be on my porch and I will know that I truly lived life.

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Hey Everyone! Hope you guys had a great weekend 🙂 We are just steam-rolling through March, aren’t we? And to everyone who will have problems adjusting this week to the lost hour of sleep from last night, solidarity my friends. This week will be tough for all of us 😉

So, I’ve mentioned that I am making changes with my eating habits to feel better. I have also started exercising. Not as often as I would like, but something is always better than nothing right? Well suffice to say, I’ve lost weight! 🙂 Since the last time I weighed myself which was back in the middle of January, I have lost 11 pounds!!! Woo hoo! Heck yeah, baby! I totally am not someone who weighs themselves on a religious basis and I also do not think a scale tells the full story. I always judge my weight loss by how my clothes fit, and I noticed that they have become looser and I can finally fit into a pair of jeans I haven’t worn in over a year. *cue all the happiness emojis you can think of* I am still not at an ideal weight that I would personally like, but that’s okay.  I am just going to keep doing what I have been doing and take it day by day. Slow and steady wins the race, right? 🙂

Easter is this month and I need to figure out what we are doing. At least I got my daughter’s Easter basket taken care of, so that’s good. No last-minute runs to the store to get overpriced stuff!

Speaking of the kiddo, we’ve been playing Chutes and Ladders. One of those weird time warp things that happen when you become a parent and are playing board games with your kid that you yourself played as a child.

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On the book front, I am currently reading W is For Wasted by the talented Sue Grafton. This book is the latest in the alphabet mystery series which I really enjoy reading. I am hooked so far!

Super glad that baseball season is back, even if it is only the spring training pre-season games 🙂 I plan on making it to an actual game this summer now that I am back in California. Go Angels!!!

What is going on in your world? I want to know!

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There are many sweet moments to parenting and some not-so-sweet moments. But one of the things I am in awe of about my daughter is her self-confidence. At five years-old, there is nothing she can’t do, or so she says to herself. “Mommy, I can help you with that”. “Mommy, I can do this”. “Mommy, I can do that”. She is confident she can do whatever she puts her mind to, because no one has ever told her different.

No one has ever told her different, not even herself.

Because that’s what happens as we get older, right? We are our own worst critic. We tell ourselves that we can’t do something, we tell ourselves that we are incapable of doing something, we tell ourselves that we’ll never be good enough. Why are we so negative to ourselves? Why do we treat ourselves so shabbily, in ways that we would never treat another human being?

Self-confidence is not overrated; it is a necessity.

If you don’t believe in yourself, who will? If you don’t believe you can do it, how can someone else believe you can? If you don’t believe you can be amazing, how can someone else know that amazing person lurking underneath?

If you knew how capable you are, you’d stop worrying and start amazing yourself. -Shannon Kaiser

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You, yes you, are an amazing individual. You’ve got it going on and don’t even realize it.

Somehow after childhood ends, and we enter those awkward teenage years, our self-worth begins to take a hit. Maybe somebody made fun of you or you didn’t have the right clothes or you did not have good grades. And then adulthood beams its unrelenting gaze on you, and your self-confidence goes on its epic roller coaster of highs and lows.

However you got here, it is time to get off the worry/self-worth raucous ride, and realize that you are capable of anything that you put your mind to. You have the capacity to be all kinds of awesome. You have the capacity to amaze yourself.

Isn’t that exciting?

You can rewrite this next chapter of your life and start BEING AMAZING.

Lest you think that this girl typing furiously on her keyboard has it all together, know that I don’t. But I desperately want to amaze myself. I know that I am capable of so much more and I know that you are too 🙂

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Happy Monday to everyone! Time for another edition of Monday Meanderings with yours truly.

Anyone else in denial that it is the last full week of February? Anyone else in denial that Downton Abbey is ending for good? *cue all the feelings* I love this show, like seriously love this show and have been enthralled since the very first season. I don’t want the saga of the Crawley family to end and I want to know when they will be back on my screen. Movie theatre or television screen, it doesn’t matter. I want to know what happens!

My family and I made our way to Huntington Beach recently for some lunch and general amusement.

My view from the restaurant where we ate lunch:

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My view from the pier:

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Huntington Beach is my favorite SoCal beach and I am definitely going to make it a priority to get out there more often 🙂

I know many of you have probably heard Adele’s “Hello” more times than you care to remember. But I still love the song and my daughter and I sing the song together every time it comes on the radio. You should hear us belt out “Hello from the other siiiiiiide. At least I can say that I triiiiiied” 🙂 As I said, I know the song came out months ago and I still love it, but the problem is now I cannot say the word “hello” properly on the phone. When my husband calls me on the phone and I answer and say “hello”, it is hard for me to not continue with “it’s me. I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet”. No really, it’s a problem. If I just say “hi” when I answer, than the song can’t immediately leap into my head, so that’s what I’ve been doing. Sigh… #adelefanproblems

Anybody else had it up to here with politics? I think at this point, November can’t come fast enough for this to all be over. Wait, depends on who gets the nomination. And now we’ve come full circle…

Glad that baseball season is around the corner (Go Angels!) But glad my hockey team is currently doing well in the standings (Go Ducks! )

Have a great week ♥

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The past can be a nasty creature that holds on to you, squeezing you quite literally to death until you are grasping for a breath, any breath that will get air in your lungs and a grasp on reality. But why do we let the past grapple with us so? Why do we give the past life? Why do we give it so much power over us?

The past makes us replicate certain behaviors, sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad. Our mind says the past is a good barometer for what is going to happen, right? “Well, if XYZ happened in the past, it is probably going to happen again so put those walls up, put those defenses up, protect, run, hide!”

Some sort of conversation like that happens from time to time, right? But what if that conversation happens more often? What if it is a weekly or daily occurrence? What if you are caught in a cyclical cyclone of anxiety and you don’t want to be tethered to your past?

This feeling is something that I am familiar with, being tethered to my past. And I am working on untangling myself from the tentacles of yesteryear. And although it is going to be a long process, I carry with me the thought that every day is a new day. Every day is a day to start anew. We get a fresh slate when we wake up every morning.

A clean fresh slate.

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I am working on not choosing yesterday.

I am working on choosing today.

Because today is what matters. The here and now. Being present and mindful is harder, it is harder than one would think. But it something that I am striving for. To be healthy and well is important to me and I don’t want to retreat into the hollowness of yesterday, of the past that wants to welcome me back into its bosom and suffocate me.

No, it is not going to happen again. Not this time. What happened is not me. What happened does not define me. What happened is the past.

And I am choosing today over what happened.

And so should we all.

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You know me and quotes. Or if you don’t know me and this is your first time here, I love quotes. Words speak to me and when I read a quote that resonates, I have to share it. Like this one:

Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life.

To whomever wrote these prophetic words, bless you!

How true is this one sentence? How many times have you been stuck at a crossroads not knowing which direction to take? When you finally make a decision you take a very small step onto that road that you need to take. But didn’t that one small step just completely change your life?

Everyone has ebbs and flows in their life; after all we are only human. And some people are able to bounce back accordingly.

But for those of us for whom the struggle is a bit more difficult, just even taking the first small step is a huge accomplishment.

That first step. That first small step.

If you are looking to make changes in your life but feel overwhelmed by all of your proverbial steps, know that it is okay. You don’t have to take all the steps all at once. Just take a small step. And then another. And when you are ready…simply take another step.

That is what I am doing. Taking one small step at a time. One small step in the right direction.

We can do this together 🙂

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Hi Guys…

I know it has been awhile since you have heard my voice here on The Random Path and I apologize for that. I hadn’t meant to take such an extended break from the blog, in fact I hadn’t planned to take any sort of break at all from the blog. I like my blog to have positive vibes so I am not going to go into too long of a detail, but as I have mentioned in past posts, I suffer from depression. January just was not a healthy month for me but I am making my way back and that is definitely a good thing.

So let’s move forward, shall we?

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So back in December, I had worked on a post I was going to share about my goals for 2016. It was over a thousand words and I had really put my all into the goals I had mapped out and how I was going to accomplish them. But than January happened…

And I realized that not one of these goals that I had written down seemed as meaningful as I first thought. In fact, one of them I knew right away would never get accomplished by the end of the calendar year. So I said screw it, and deleted my thousand word post.

I had an epiphany.

I didn’t want to have several goals just for the sake of having goals and feeling like I needed to have something on paper showing I was accomplishing something just for the sake of accomplishing something.

I wanted something BIGGER than that.

I realized that all I really want to do is move forward.

Move forward with my life, move forward with my health, and ultimately move forward with my blog.

The past is an evil entity that latches on to you, deteriorating your well-being, trying to break you, memory by little memory.

And I am truly fed up with it. I am fed up with the past and I just want to break free from it. I want to live in positivity and just live my life the best way I can. I know that life is not all unicorns and rainbows; believe me, I know that better than most. But I am tired of the past lurking in my shadows and I am tired of being sick and tired.

Enough is enough.

I also want to move forward with getting my body healthy. Start eating more good stuff and less bad stuff, and meditating and exercising. Stop making excuses and just do the damn thing already.

Blogging is important to me and I want to do more with my blog. I want to stop talking about someday doing something about it and just move forward on it and DO IT.

Move forward.

I am breaking free from the past and moving forward.

Who’s with me? 🙂

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Hey Everyone! Hope you guys had a great Thanksgiving 🙂 And to the readers in other parts of the world, I hope you had a great week!

Well let’s catch up, shall we?

I mentioned last week that I was taking the week off from blogging and it is a good thing I did, because I got sick with a bad head cold. Ugh… Bad timing immune system, bad timing. I made the best of it, because honestly what else can you do, but I am still under the weather. But hey, at least my head doesn’t feel like it is going to explode from all the congestion and sinus pressure, so at least that is a good thing! 😉

Luckily, the worst of my sickness occurred after Thanksgiving, literally the day after, so I was able to make a pumpkin pie with my kiddo. It was almost from scratch because I used a store-bought crust, but I made it, and it was gluten-free! Absolutely delicious, let me tell you! And my 5-year-old helper agreed. She kept asking, “Mommy, is there any more pumpkin pie left?” several times on Friday, but sadly that puppy was all gone. Inhaled by everyone 🙂

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We also took the kiddo to see Santa Claus and get her picture taken with him. She was excited and told him what she wants and received a candy cane for coming to see him 🙂 Too cute!

On another note, the whole “Elf on a Shelf” thing freaks me out. The elf seems to always be looking at you no matter where you happen to be standing, and I know if I was a small kid, that thing would terrify me. Isn’t there another way to let your kids know that being good is the preferred option other than resorting to the creepy elf? Just saying…

I am super excited friends, that the holiday season is in full swing! It is truly my favorite time of the year!!

How was your Thanksgiving? Are you creeped out by the “Elf on the Shelf”?

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The Light

The light caught my eye, I stared mesmerized across the canyon, waiting for the wind to take me away.

The light was almost gone, glorious instances of brilliance, incandescent in form. The candles they flick, the breeze goes by and everything shines with particles of dreams.

The light it fades away and the shadows, they stretch against the wall. I wait to bask in their opaqueness.

The darkness settles across the plain. The light has disappeared and there is no shimmer to be seen. The dreary it comes and I embrace the nightfall. My breath is steady, my lifeblood secure. I wait for the light. I will wait for the light.

The mist it comes, like a ghost rising up from beyond. The first glint of rich sun, unclouded and unobscured, begin to show their glorious and resplendent luminousness.

The light, for she is high in the sky now, radiates brilliant beams. My face upturned, I bask in her glory.

The light caught my eye and I went back to what I know.

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Nine weeks or so until the calendar of 2015 gets yanked unceremoniously off the wall and a heavy-sighing, slightly hung-over you, puts up a fresh 2016 calendar.

Let that sink in for a minute…have anxiety yet?

Yes, in less than two months 2015 will be in the rear-view mirror and January will open with the promise of possibility and far-flung goal-setting that will end in a fire of disappointment.

No, I am not being pessimistic. I am being honest.

We as humans carry around a lot of baggage. Emotional baggage that weighs more than one could ever know. Sure, we adjust the weight of the baggage so that it is not too taxing on our shoulders and maybe we shift it around a bit so our neck doesn’t hurt or our head doesn’t throb from the burden of carrying it all.

But it is still there…

It is no wonder that we fruitlessly try to adjust our lives January 1st, and by the middle of the month (sometimes sooner), we’ve said, well we will start over again next month or we’ve simply just thrown in the towel, saying there’s always next year.

Don’t bring last year’s baggage into the new year.

Just don’t.

January means a clean slate. 2016 as a whole, means you have twelve months of endless possibility. Twelve whole months in which to dream big, shoot for the stars, live a holistic and meaningful life! Doesn’t that sound amazing?

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It sure does and you can totally do it…on one condition…

The baggage has got to stay. Take it off your back and set it down on the floor. The horrible 2015 baggage that said you’re not good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, thin enough, “insert-here” enough… Set. It. Down.

That baggage is a liar.

And you know that deep down.

2016 is going to be the year of you. Awesome-sauce you. You are going to fly, my friend. But your wings only let you soar sans baggage.

Don’t bring all that emotional baggage from 2015 into a new year.

Flip the page, literally. You can do it.

I know you can.

 

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