Amaze Yourself

There are many sweet moments to parenting and some not-so-sweet moments. But one of the things I am in awe of about my daughter is her self-confidence. At five years-old, there is nothing she can’t do, or so she says to herself. “Mommy, I can help you with that”. “Mommy, I can do this”. “Mommy, I can do that”. She is confident she can do whatever she puts her mind to, because no one has ever told her different.

No one has ever told her different, not even herself.

Because that’s what happens as we get older, right? We are our own worst critic. We tell ourselves that we can’t do something, we tell ourselves that we are incapable of doing something, we tell ourselves that we’ll never be good enough. Why are we so negative to ourselves? Why do we treat ourselves so shabbily, in ways that we would never treat another human being?

Self-confidence is not overrated; it is a necessity.

If you don’t believe in yourself, who will? If you don’t believe you can do it, how can someone else believe you can? If you don’t believe you can be amazing, how can someone else know that amazing person lurking underneath?

If you knew how capable you are, you’d stop worrying and start amazing yourself. -Shannon Kaiser

You, yes you, are an amazing individual. You’ve got it going on and don’t even realize it.

Somehow after childhood ends, and we enter those awkward teenage years, our self-worth begins to take a hit. Maybe somebody made fun of you or you didn’t have the right clothes or you did not have good grades. And then adulthood beams its unrelenting gaze on you, and your self-confidence goes on its epic roller coaster of highs and lows.

However you got here, it is time to get off the worry/self-worth raucous ride, and realize that you are capable of anything that you put your mind to. You have the capacity to be all kinds of awesome. You have the capacity to amaze yourself.

Isn’t that exciting?

You can rewrite this next chapter of your life and start BEING AMAZING.

Lest you think that this girl typing furiously on her keyboard has it all together, know that I don’t. But I desperately want to amaze myself. I know that I am capable of so much more and I know that you are too 🙂

Read Full Post »

Thankful: 2015 Edition

According to Dictionary.com, the definition of “thankful” is: feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative.

Well, that is how I am feeling right now. With Thanksgiving right around the corner, I feel I have much to be thankful for and I am definitely appreciative for the blessings that have happened this year:)

This year I am thankful for:

* My dad’s surgery going successfully.

* Our re-entry into California. From arriving here safely to everything working out like we had hoped, I am so thankful!

* My daughter’s new school and her wonderful and amazing teacher.

* For friends that no matter what happens, they got your back.

* A roof over my head and food in my belly.

* My daughter who tells me that I am her best friend *heart melts*

* My husband who continues to be my champion and whose shoulder I lean on more times than I can count.

* For my cat who doesn’t mind that I talk to him in “baby talk” and tell him how much I “wuv him”.

* For our freedoms and living in this beautiful country.

What are you thankful for as 2015 winds down?

Read Full Post »

Gratitude

 

Every once in a while, I really want to say out loud, the things that I am thankful for. Life always has so much going on, and it’s easy to lose track of those happy moments. So I am grasping the ones that are fluttering around me at the moment.

I am thankful for:

• Coffee. I feel like that has to be said 😉
• The library. And the fact that my daughter’s face lights up every time I tell her that we are going there. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree ♥
• Getting a free preview of MLB Extra Innings, so my husband and I were able to watch a few Angels games up here in Oregon! Yay! I miss being able to see my team play. Go Angels!!!

• My daughter when she says “I love you Mommy”. Cue all the heart-melting ♥
• The fact that the weather has cooled off up here. We were melting, seriously. It doesn’t always rain in the Portland area, it really, really doesn’t. They have summers here, for real. #themoreyouknow
• Actually getting to the see the new James Bond trailer. Squeeeeeeeee!!! You know where I will be in November; at the theatre drooling over watching Daniel Craig. I mean James Bond 😉
• My husband and my dad, the two strongest yet caring men I know.

What are some things you are thankful for?

Read Full Post »

Backstory

So, 4 months is quite a long time to be away so let’s catch up shall we?

Well, last summer my family moved to Oregon from Southern California and we currently live in a suburb outside of Portland. We’ve explored all our new area has to offer and having rain during the winter with some nights hitting lows of 29 degrees has definitely been interesting!

I have loved having Powell’s Bookstore within driving distance. I have loved the good food Portland has to offer. I have loved my library and my daughter and I are there all the time checking out books and movies 🙂

I get why people love Fred Meyer’s. I get why people love the beautiful green trees and fresh air. I get why people absolutely fall in love with Oregon. I really, really do.

But…

(You knew one was coming, didn’t you?)

Life is full of decisions you make at any given time. You make decisions all day long. What you are going to eat for breakfast, are you going to work out today, should you get the oil changed today or tomorrow, and on and on. Pretty mundane in the decision-making department, right?

But then there are the life-changing decisions that you make, that you feel are the best for that particular moment in time. Whether you quit a job, or say yes to an engagement or decide to go back to school and get that degree you’ve always wanted. Moving, whether it is to a new city, state, or country, ranks right up there with the whole altering life kind of thing.

Needless to say, after long consideration my husband and I decided that Oregon is not the best choice for us after all. My family and I are going to be moving back to Southern California.

Yes, I am going back to Cali, Cali, Cali…

Oregon is an amazing place and I have nothing negative to say about it all. It is a great place to live and raise a family.

But it just never felt right…

For our family, we need to go back to our roots and those roots are back in California. We miss our extended family and our friends. We miss having a support system. We thought those things would be things that we could just work through but it was becoming apparent that that just wasn’t the case.

Also, for reasons I am unable to disclose, there have been some personal issues for our family that were magnified here and it is best for us to go back to our home.

Our real home. Under the California sun.

Our decision to move to Oregon was made with the best intentions. We felt a calling to come here and plant roots here. We felt a calling to put down our stakes and make a new life here amongst the tall and beautiful trees.

But sometimes that whisper you hear, or that knot that starts forming in your stomach, simply cannot be ignored. And part of the hesitation in admitting that a decision is not working out, is that one does not like to feel like they made a mistake.

And that’s okay. Because I don’t see our move to Oregon as a mistake. I see it as a stepping stone onto something bigger and better.

In fact, ever since we came to the conclusion that going back to SoCal was in our best interest, it really and truly feels like a weight has been lifted off of us.

As for specifics on our move back to California, I don’t have a date yet. We are planning to move in the next few months, but we have some things to take care of here before we hit the road.

Sometimes you have to go through it to get to it, if you know what I mean. But that’s okay.

I am so happy to be going back to my home. My real home.

Read Full Post »

Blogiversary! It’s been 3 Years, Yo…

Holy guacamole! The Random Path is 3 years old! I can’t believe that this lil ‘ol blog that I started in December of 2011, is still my own and a space that I write and share ♥

I admit that blogging hasn’t always been easy, and sometimes life gets hard and messy and that it doesn’t always allow time for getting behind that keyboard. But us bloggers, we persevere right? 😉

I have learned a lot about myself as a writer, and as a person. And this blog has also allowed me to make the online friends, my real-life friends, which is a huge plus!

Also a HUGE thank you to ALL of you dear readers of The Random Path. It means a lot that you want to read my words and want to share this space with me ♥

And I must give a special thank you to Tonya, Anna, Shannon, and Tanya. You girls have been absolutely amazing in your support and friendship and I just wanted you to know that I truly appreciate it 🙂

XO,

Mackenzie

Read Full Post »

Christmas Wishes

Hello Everyone!

December sure flew by, didn’t it? Hope you all have finished your holiday shopping, and if not, well good luck at the malls and may patience be your best friend 😉

Merry Christmas from The Random Path and may all of you have a blessed holiday!

XO,

Mackenzie

Read Full Post »

This Too Shall Pass

This too shall pass.

These four words. Simplistic yet their reverberations echo in my very soul. When life gets too heavy and I feel as if I am grasping at fragments of sanity, I remember that this moment will not last.

And it will pass.

I don’t remember the first time I heard the phrase but I know that sometime when I was a teenager and the chaos of my life was more that I could simply bear, these words became my mantra. When the machinations of people in my life conspired against me, I took a deep breath and prayed. And I told myself that this too shall pass.

As I became an adult and my soul was buried in another man’s emotional abuse, in his hand lay my heart, and the very life of me was shattering, I wondered why me…why was I suffering? When would I stop drowning and swim to the surface?

I held on. I prayed. I knew deep down, there would come a time, that this season of my life would pass.

And it did.

When the throes of my depression threatened to swallow me whole, it was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other. Spaces of time seemed endless and the only thing I could do was hold onto my faith.

The darkness, this too shall pass.

Some days will be bright and the sun will shine on my face, the grass will grow beneath my feet.

But on the days when there is no light, when the clouds of my despair threaten to rain down on my head like a storm, I remember those words…

This too shall pass.

This. Too. Shall. Pass.

Linking up with:

Read Full Post »

Dear California

Dear California,

The earth shifts beneath my feet, and I roam your hills. The sun kisses my face and I feel your warmth.

Oh California, you were my first love. You breathed life into me before I even knew you. I will miss your high-speed winds, and the tumbleweeds that blew down my street when I was just a girl.

I will miss the drives down PCH, blaring the radio, drinking in the smell of the ocean. I will miss your blazing sunsets, your sandy intricacies, your aura of golden happiness.

You gave me so much happiness, California. I met my wonderful husband here and breathed life into my beautiful baby girl beneath your sun.

Your amazing opportunities allowed my dad to raise me in a quiet town nestled beneath the mountains, wrapped in 80’s nostalgia, glimmering just on the edge of big city life.

Thank you California for the beautiful memories of college. They were some of the best years of my life and I’ll never forget them.

As my recollections become mere whispers, I’ll never forget you my first love. As your sun-kissed summers become a distant memory, I will always treasure my time on your sandy shores.

I love you California, and you’ll always hold a special place in my heart ♥

Love, Mackenzie

Read Full Post »

Change

Pretty flowers from my backyard!

One word, but it encompasses so much.

Change.

Here we are in the midst of February, and I realized that I still hadn’t formulated any goals for 2014. What did I want to do this year, what did I want to accomplish? What areas of my life could use some contemplation?

For the life of me, I couldn’t come up with concrete ideas. I would think of one, but it would disappear into a puddle of anxiety, and I moved onto another idea. This process would continue, until here we are: we are practically halfway through this month, and I still have nothing to show for my ruminating.

But there was one word that kept weaving in and out of my thought process: change. Big changes, small changes, just changes all around.

And I slowly realized that this year, this year I am not going to focus on a list of things that I feel I must accomplish because it’s a new year and that’s what one ought to do.

I am just going to change. And embrace it.

Of course the biggest change happening in my life this year, is my impending move to Portland in a few months. Moving to another state is one of the biggest changes one can make.

I want to just let the other changes in my life happen slowly, not something to mark off my list. I plan on writing more, reading more, being more intentional with my time. But these are things that don’t get crossed through with red marker on a piece of paper. I plan to be better with my time and be open to the changes happening in my life.

And after the tumultuous summer I had, I am open to all that life has to offer. I am all about second chances, wishing on stars, and tears of happiness.

2014 is all about change and I am ready.

Read Full Post »

A Work In Progress

As most of you know, or maybe for the new readers, you may not know…but my world sort of imploded at the beginning of the summer. Although this is my personal blog, and personal space, all I can really say is that I sunk into a very deep depression. Events from my past, which had not been dealt with in my past, came barreling to the forefront, and knocked me off my feet.

And not in a good way.

Signs were always there, creeping around corners, images and words that didn’t make sense, but should have.

Suffice to say, I am in a much, much better place than I was a few months ago. It proves to be a long road, but I am making my way.

I continue to be a work in progress.

I just want to tell you that having people in your corner is important, and to all my internet friends out there, whether through text messages or direct messages, know that your words and thoughts mean so much to me, and I can’t thank you enough for being there for me.

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf”. -Jon Kabat-Zinn

I’m learning to surf…

Read Full Post »