We all have that friend. You know, that person who made a most fantabulous money mistake, and never learned from it. They keep taking their money and spending it in various “oh no you didn’t” crazy scenarios.
Back in the day, I knew a girl who did not know how to manage her money well. This is not an understatement. She took out a loan on her home and promptly turned around and bought a car. And a tummy tuck. And new clothes to fit said tummy tucked body. When she told me her plan and asked what I thought about it, I was a bit taken aback. I told her that maybe she should rethink this, and that it’s a really, really, really bad idea to owe more on your house for a tummy tuck. Especially when you don’t need one.
But did she listen? No. Did she adjust her eating habits and start an exercise regimen so that her new figure wouldn’t be for nought? No, she didn’t. She gained all the weight back.
On a separate occasion, she took out more money on her house to “decorate it”. This was during the part of the 2000′s where banks did what ever it was you asked for and interest rates were something to be dealt with later. So she was able to get more money, that she’d eventually have to pay back mind you, to decorate.
She never learned. Her mortgage kept going up and up and finally she couldn’t afford the monthly payments anymore. She had to sell her house. She then ended up being priced out of the area and eventually relocated out-of-state.
Once she moved, she didn’t really keep in contact with anyone, but I think of her often. I hope she finally got her financial act together. She really was a sweet girl, she just didn’t think about the ramifications of her actions in the long run. Instant gratification is no one’s friend.
Not when it comes to money.
Ugh, we all know somebody like that, don’t we? I know several!
Yeah, unfortunately I think everybody does!
I had a similar friend who wondered if she was pregnant, but couldn’t understand why I had concern in my eyes rather than happiness since she felt pregnancies and births were happy occasions. I couldn’t hide my concern considering 1) she already had two kids, 2) she had $5 in her checking after bills were paid on the 2nd and we were paid monthly, and 3) she asked if I could lend her money for the pregnancy test. It’s never a good feeling to have friends make poor decisions (not that I’m one to talk), especially when the instant gratification of knowing your carrying a life leads to very long-term responsibilities.
Wow….that is rough. I think some people just aren’t wired to see the big picture, you know?
I think when someone acts that way and then asks “What do you think?” They know what you think already and it’s a veiled cry for help.
True. She asked everybody for advice and always did the opposite. I hope she is doing better with her money!
I don’t think people change unless they have a terrible shock. It can be bankruptcy, it can be getting married or having a kid, something big that will motivate you enough to turn your finances around. Otherwise, people just stay the same and expect the world to change.
I think you’re right. Some people need to hit their own “rock bottom” in order to really change their behaviors.
My inlaws did that same thing. Well, not on tummy tucks, but on many other unnecessary things and got underwater on their house. They then went through a foreclosure. Don’t put unsecured debt on a secured asset, ever!
I still am shocked when I hear stories like this. I just can’t believe sometimes, what people do with their money!
Oh man, sometimes you can lead the horse to water…It sounds like she needed help but wasn’t willing to accept it. I hope after all that mess she was able to get herself together
I hope so too, I really do
It’s not a good idea to borrow money on your house to get a tummy tuck?!
Seriously though, we had a family member go through some stuff like this and you struggle whether to shake the person or ask what really is going on.
People’s monetary decisions can be mind-boggling sometimes!
You got that right sister! Instant gratification can get you into loads of trouble. I’m sure she is learning the hard way and kicking herself. Maybe people like that come into our lives to help us stay on track ourselves. The universe sends a messenger so you don’t have to make the mistake yourself.
I am sure she did learn the hard way; I hope she learned her lessons and is doing better!
Deciding when to give advice is tough! I wonder what happened to your friend at the end and what she would be like if you crossed paths today. Maybe she cleaned up her act (probably unlikely).
I hope she cleaned up her act, but some people just never learn.
I think we all have friends like that! I do….who continue to make financial mistakes. It’s really frustrating talking to them about it because there are easy solutions to us, but to them they want that instant gratification so they don’t listen! Drives me nuts!!! I know someone who is on Medi-cal but decided she needed a Marc Jacobs diaper bag……very interesting indeed.
I didn’t even know Marc Jacobs made a diaper bag, LOL
That’s just crazy! People really want to learn lessons the hard way, I guess.